“Liar. Unlovable. Fake. Failure. Disgusting. Loser. Good for nothing. Unworthy. Worthless. Useless. Dirty. Ugly. Fat. Waste of time and space. Stupid. Burden. Lazy. Inferior. Mad. Freak. Boring. Dumb. Irresponsible. Foolish. In the way. Incompetent. Weird. Disappointment.”
The names other people call us.
The labels we give ourselves.
Why is it that we avoid eye-contact with the mirror?
Or see a hideous stranger staring back at us?
Why is it that we only notice our faults.
And allow other people’s reactions to us to mirror our thoughts.
We plaster on a smile and head out into the real world petrified that others will see through us.
Terrified that they will find the truth.
We’re frauds.
Great pretenders.
We’re writers who can’t write.
Artists that can’t create.
Teachers who can’t teach.
Business [wo]men on a lucky streak.
Creatives who glean ideas off others.
…other people are better than ourselves!
We pretend at work.
(“One day they’ll find out I can’t…”)
We pretend at relationships.
(“When they see the real me, they’ll stop loving me…”)
But the worst part is that we pretend at life.
We even try and fool ourselves.
We don’t believe we are worthy.
We don’t believe we are good enough!
We don’t realise how awesome we are!
I’m a little bit mad, eccentric, spontaneous, stubborn, and irrational.
Neurotic even.
Along with another long list of terms that I have labelled and allowed others to label me.
I’m 35 years old and all I have is a giant Teddy Bear, broken backpack, and a lot of scars as assets.
My bank account has a bit of an eating disorder.
I don’t look the part of the “adult” I’m auditioning for.
I have climbed many ladders, but none of them in any corporate environment.
I don’t have a lease, let alone a house!
And while I’ve worked in more industries than most, my only full-time job is being a nomadic Gypsy.
I’m a “great explorer” that stumbles into adventures and somehow manages to endure them.
“Brave” is an act I play sometimes.
Other roles have included “grown up” and “feigned togetherness.”
We wrongly attribute our successes to accidents and our failures to the core culpabilities that comprise our self.
We live in a world full of warped mirrors and seldom see how exceptionally marvellous our complex beings truly are.
(No matter how complex)
We’re misfits!
All of us!
But that’s the beauty of humanity.
All of us are different. None of us is perfect.
(Even if others look the part on the outside.)
But who really wants to be perfect?
Who really wants to have their life completely together?
Who really wants to fit nicely into a box for other people to admire?
It’s the people that nobody would imagine anything of that do the things that nobody else would imagine!
(I think I heard that in a movie once)
Your wrinkles make your smile shine.
Your love handles make cuddling that much more enjoyable.
Your weird outlook on life is a unique perspective!
Your grey hair and scars speak of the epics you’ve endured and the lessons you’ve learned along life’s path!
The truth is:
You are amazing!
You are worthy!
You are good enough! More than enough!
You are beautiful!
You are exactly who you are meant to be!
In the great words of doctor Sues:
“Today you are you. That’s truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you!”
Love yourself!
Believe in yourself!
Smile at your reflection!
(No matter how strange you may be!)
You may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but maybe that’s because you’re actually coffee and it takes a sophisticated pallet to appreciate coffee.
1 Comment
Colleen · June 22, 2020 at 2:14 pm
Adeena I adore you and love following you! You remind us so much of your fun-loving, adventurous, incredibly talented dad!! ❤️?